Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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