Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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