yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize