you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize