Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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