it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize