I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize