he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize