If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
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You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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