You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize