Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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