her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize