I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize