Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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