the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize