Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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