so explain again why im purple
no
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
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Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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