Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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