u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize