he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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