It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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