Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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