Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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