she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize