i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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