Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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