You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You've changed since you got that strap on
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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