you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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