We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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