Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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