What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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