Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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