1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
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If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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