We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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