i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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