apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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