I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is Oprah even human
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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