ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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