my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
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VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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