if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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