Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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