Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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