I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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