cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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