i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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