I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize