If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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