Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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