you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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