Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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